Tag: funny

Olympic Glory in Broadcasting

Some post Olympic humour……

 
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the London Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: “This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.”
 
2. Dressage commentator: “This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.”
 
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”
 
4. Boxing Analyst: “Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.”
 
5. Softball announcer: “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”

6. Basketball analyst: “He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.”
 
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: “Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.”

8. Soccer commentator: “Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.”

9. Tennis commentator: “One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my God, what have I just said?”

Bear?

From: d3ngar
To: bear
Subject: Bear

Message:
Wow, Bear!

What a nick – what a movie…

You might not know this, Bear, but there is a movie with the same name, Bear, that came out last year. You might have guessed: it features a bear, named Bear…

You might wanna check out Bear, the movie, it’s really great : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1468703/

Best Regards,

d3ngar
d3ngar.blogspot.com

Why does … (or the problem of predictive search)

found this when I started typing ‘why does…’

I think most search engines would rank the results according to popularity, rather than results or relevancy. So it’s shocking to know what people really want to know about themselves and their dogs. Funny though

(Google Predictive Search)
FYI: I wanted to search for ‘Why does it hurt when I pee’ (not for myself, but the popular Frank Zappa song. I assure you, everything is fine!)

rapebear (or: how to write screenplays. badly.)

congtratulations to jeremy slater and dan whitehead, probably the funniest blog i have seen so far:
“how to write screenplays. badly.“

it was last year mid-summer, when i discovered the screenplay follow up call to “rapebear” – the bear that rapes. i laughed so hard that even a year later i feel that this blog needs to be revisited by as many people as possible.

You can find the rapebear story right here!

Great site about Redlichkeit: [but only in German language :( ]

Some years ago, when the internet was still young and some people though it was only made for exchanging pornography and hack into banking servers, I found this really amusing website.

It’s the only link that I have kept for years. I’ve stumbled accross it in the sad year of the lord 1999 when Helmut Kohl’s era ended and 8 years of depressing socialism plagued the land of Germans. the here author claims to be incapacitated – meaning he is not allowed to manage his own money, or vote (or be alone with children)

Note, that it is hosted on Geocities (and it’s still live!!!):


Werden Sie züchtig und keusch!

——————————————————————————–
Lieber Fußgänger, Sie haben gerade von einem redlichen Menschen einen Flugzettel in die Hand gedrückt bekommen und fragen sich nun, was das soll. Bitte nehmen Sie sich kurz Zeit, den Zettel durchzulesen und besuchen Sie danach meine Internetzseite.

Es stört Sie

  • daß ältere Menschen die Internetzsprache nicht verstehen können, da sie aus wahllos zusammengewürfelten Wörtern deutscher / englischer Sprache besteht?
    (Bsp. e-Mail [e-Brief], Internet Explorer [Internetz Erkunder])

  • daß manche Menschen Sie lapidar mit “Hallo” begrüßen, oder mobile Telefone benützen, obwohl die Strahlung lebensgefährlich für alle anderen ist?

  • daß Rauchen und Alkohol immer noch nicht verboten sind?

  • daß es Menschen gibt, die sich nackt im Internetz oder gar in der Öffentlichkeit präsentieren?
    (Bsp. FKK-Strände, Schmuddelseiten)

  • daß es im Internetz immer wieder Menschen gibt, die ihre Aggressionen an guten Menschen auslassen?

Oder haben Sie gar selbst Probleme, ein züchtiges Leben zu führen? Das ist kein Problem. Besuchen Sie meine Internetzseite, denn ich lebe vor, wie man gut und züchtig ist und sich so auch noch viele Freunde verschafft!

http://www.geocities.com/reinhard_pfarrpfeifer
Ihr Reinhard Pfarrpfeifer

Fake or real?